Friday, July 13, 2012

Adventures of team marriage....take 47 million

I'm aware it has been forever and two days since I posted Adventures of Team Marriage. So I'm extra excited to share with you the Tristan tattoos you may have missed.

Last summer around 2AM Team Marriage was driving home after the Least of These and Across Waters show. When all of the sudden while passing the tattoo shop Tristan gets a wild hair and all but yells at me " do you want to get tattooed or do you want to go home?!" before I know what is happening he had convinced me to get a cupcake under my right elbow. Ridiculous yes. Adorable with heart sprinkles triple yes!

Next random fun took place the night of Ace's Tattoo Anniversary Party. Every year the fabulous owners of Ace's take all the artists and their dates out for dinner and celebration of the shop opening. This particular year they went above and beyond and rented a party bus! It was awesome. We started out at Bj's Brewery in Lewisville and ended back at the tattoo shop....and alot happened in between from not naked fully clothed but very funny pole dancing to karaoke. The night ended with what we affectionatly called "Party Bus Tats" or "PBT"....... Tristan and Justin decided to get PBT tattooed on them and Tristan in a festive mood decided to let me tattoo his! yep thats right the following is my handywork. Enjoy, Tristan did. ouch!

My most recent and still healing tattoo that I am proud to announce as my very first LEG tattoo! This is a big deal, as I never thought I would be this tatted up but I love it. So moving from arms to legs meant serious business. Not only was it my first leg tattoo but it is of very special significance for two reasons:
1.) Tristan surprised me by doing it as my anniversary gift, 7 years together!
2.) it is my long awaited Vessels and Flowers tattoo. For those of you that have been following you know the crazy Vessels and Flowers story and you know from previous blogs I am a basket! So the tattoo is a basket of flowers. It is bomb!

PS it hurt and it hurt worse 2 days later when the swelling in my leg hit an all time high hahaha

PPS Yes Tristan did tattoo me shirtless. Sexy way to spend an Anniversary right? You know your jealous.

Lastly not a Tristan Bradshaw piece but a fun Bradshaw's adventure. Mr. bradshaw was asked to help out at Saints and Sinners in Carrolton for Old School Sunday. While T and the boys were busy cranking out some very rad tattoos I put myself on the List.

My lovely little indian lady was done by Drew at Saints and Sinners and I am smitten with her.

Big Thanks to my sweet husband for tattooing me so patiently and putting up with me for 7 years! Stay tuned to for more Adventures of Team Marriage.


Thursday, July 5, 2012

The art of changing the subject

A couple of weeks ago our pastor said something that I thought to be profound. It struck me so vividly although it wasn't necessarily the point  of the message; in fact I'm pretty sure it was gleaned from one of the rabbit trails,  proved obviously necessary, Matt Chandler took in that sermon. It began with him saying" that he had so much fun playing around with the hebrew and greek meanings of the word "mercy", that particular week. Of course, I love words and I love root words and the origin of words... and play on words so I listened even harder. He went on to say a lot of things but what really stuck with me was one of  the greek word definitions of Mercy. He said it literally translated to mean  " the changing of the subject."

HMMMM. ... WOW....i thought... OHHH man... as I pondered..... wait DANG....BEAUTIFUL.. as I cried.

I was immediately overwhelmed for I have most recently received  great helpings of mercy: unabashed, unmerited, and unending in many areas of my life.

We all know the word mercy. In fact, I have to believe we receive a million mercies daily that we aren't even aware of, whether from the Lord, an annoyed husband or friend.  I'd say most of my life the word mercy probably only came up when watching a movie or reading a great fictitious novel. Like the epic Brave Heart kind, where the hero we all love has the opportunity for vengeance but chooses to show mercy. Once the movie was over I would go back to real life, where there was no one (that I know of) trying to kill me or kidnap my family members (like I said one of those sneaky mercies afforded me regularly I fail to be grateful for) where again mercy slipped my mind.  Once I came to know Jesus, by God's amazing grace, the word would come up more often and would be pondered on for a moment, especially when listening to church sermons or doing bible studies. I clearly understood that without Jesus I would be shown no mercy for God is holy and the wages of my sin has to be death. But again I couldn't quite fit that into my daily life. That idea alone was so hard to grasp. Add in my prideful heart which tends to paint myself as much better than I actually am, and the need for mercy went right out the window.

But recently I have a had the rare favor of experiencing mercy up close and personal. I have found myself on the receiving end of mercy in a very real world way and  I am aware that  it is so completely undeserved and unmerited. I can assure you that mercy of that magnitude will drive you to your  knees with a grateful heart.

After experiencing  mercy so personally that sermon definition  hit me in the most tender place of that grateful heart. "Of course mercy means to change the subject," I thought, as a picture formed in my mind. I kept seeing myself with all of my sins aka all of my horrible thoughts, terrible decisions, ugly ungrateful or selfish and violent attitudes piled up like luggage on a wagon. I kept dragging them up to  the Lord on His glorious thrown,  Jesus standing beside me quietly, and trying to get him to LOOK, really look at what at all that I'd done. But He wouldn't He just kept changing the subject. Of course at this point my tender personal picture turns humorous, because well, I think in humour most naturally, and I have to believe God thinks that way in dealing with me;  after all I am made in his image. So I kept dragging my horrible icky stuff up with as much dread and sorrow and seriousness as I could muster and God almighty kept saying " Let's just go hang out and talk over pizza."  WHAT?!?!?! bizarro I know. But stay with me isn't this a beautiful idea?

Once I accepted Christ my glaringly obvious flaws ceased to matter,  the subject was changed to Christ. No longer do I have to dwell on all I have done wrong or may do in the future but I can remember not I ... Christ. Not me Christ. Not my sin.. the cross. What a valuable subject change!!! In fact where I speculate from my own experience many believers go wrong is to choose christ and believe in mercy but never accept and walk in it as if its really their own. We keep dragging our wagon to whoever.... while God is saying over and over "would you leave the wagon here at the cross already? and lets go hang out. There are other way more important subjects than you and your junk" Oh how sweet mercy truly is. 

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Today as I was doing my Beth Moore study on the fruits of the spirit I came across something that compounded the sweetness of this already astounding new picture for me. The lesson looked at the complete new testament word study of the fruit of the spirit "patience." Bare with me. She explained that the study found that there are two different greek words used in the bible that translate to mean patience. The first word is Makrothumia it means "forbearance; self restraint before proceeding to action; the quality of a person who is able to avenge himself yet refrains from doing so." Makrothumia refers to patience in respect to persons. The second is Hupomone it means "endurance."Hupomone refers to patience in putting up with things, or circumstance.  

The word Makrothumia is the one I'm going to be focusing on for a second. It is the word for patience used in scripture when listing patience as a fruit of the spirit. Both of these words for patience are obviously important but  Makrothumia is pertinent to this particular blog and heres why.  I have explained that these words both stand for patience but there are two very important distinctions between them. The first distinction I described above in the definition. Makrothumia is extended in dealing with people and Hupomone is extended in dealing with circumstances. But the second is the greatest distinction (for this blog). It is that each kind of patience has its own inspiration. Stay with me! 

You'll find in scripture if you do a study that Hupomone is inspired by HOPE. It is hope that drives us to be patient or endure in crazy circumstances. It is the hope that you will come out of them, that they may change for better, etc...that allows you the patience to endure those moments. But what drives us to be patient or persevere, to have Makrothumia when dealing with people who have injured us or wronged us? What is it that allows us to stay in a relationship that the world says get out of? What is it that inspires someone with the right to justice to refrain and lay down those rights to act? MERCY. The inspiration or motivation for patience dealing with fellow human beings especially where impossible hurts have been afflicted is MERCY. Without mercy there is no patience as God has demonstrated with us. For he has demonstrated Makrothumia. 

Everywhere in the bible you find patience expressed by using the word Makrothumia, there you will  find also some kind of mercy. The mercy present in Makruthumia translates "eleos" in the greek. This is the same mercy word used in scripture when it describes God. In other words when you demonstrate makruthumia you are indeed being like Christ. Again how sweet!! patience and mercy combined in one word, this can not be demonstrated without the holy spirit as it is the act of becoming like Christ, direct fruit.

I have been so blessed by this discovery of what mercy really means at its depths and too find that it is intricately woven into patience.  How kind of God to pour out mercy. Even more amazing that I have had this same mercy lavished upon me by so many close friends and family.  This isn't possible without the holy spirit present in their lives. Amazing that I have been on the receiving end of something truly supernatural. I hope it blesses you, when my cup runneth over, or my basket rather, I am compelled to share! I pray I will receive from the holy spirit  enough patience, love, humility, and understanding to change the subject when I'm wronged. The act of mercy requires trust and peace that passeth understanding.  I want to love for the sake of love and expect nothing in return and to give the Mercy that I have received and never deserved, the magnificent gift of mercy God has extended through Christ.

I have no idea where you find yourself. If you think of mercy only at the movies or if you know Christ or do not, but I hope this week you'll be encouraged that the creator God who has every right to justice has chosen mercy, through Christ dying on the cross. For those of you assured of salvation I hope you will be challenged to change the subject as one day you may find yourself desperately  needing the subject changed.

To those of you who have extended great measures of mercy to me and graciously carried my burdens, I am more grateful than you will ever know on this side of heaven. I hope you will read this and take heart it has not gone  unnoticed and I will strive to pay it forward <3

giving thanks with a grateful heart for new mercies daily,

Thursday, May 17, 2012

today's wondering


 I've been debating whether or not to get bangs for over a year..... it'll probaly be another year before I actually do anything.. dont judge me - it took a long time to grow out my short spiky butch mistake...but hey I'll try anything once, and Alice if your reading this -yes I am referring to the short spiky San Francisco on a whim, staying in a hostel, dye my hair black with box color in the communal sink - Alice insists its gonna rock- hairstyle.

 I've searched and searched high and low ( or just on pinterest) for the perfect bang inspirations. they look so tempting but i am as indecisive as Texas weather.  Feel free to leave a comment even if your just popping by and let me know if you think I should go for the gold or stick with if it ain't broke don't fix it mentality.

my bangspirations:

Source: via Brittney on Pinterest

chica chica bang bang

Saturday, May 12, 2012

He makes beautiful things.

In His loving kindness, the Lord has most recently lead me to a place where, for the very first time in a certain area of great struggle, I have entered the vast wide open space that is Freedom in Christ. Today I have decided with great courage and determination to run out into the openness of this space with excitement and great expectation. At first stepping out there was hesitation.. for I have always, as a basket, been fickle. It is too easy for me to share my excitement about freedom and end up looking much like the boy who cried wolf when the next day I am again chained. But today I have decided that is indeed why Christ came! That hope may never dissapoint because Christ in me is the hope of glory. In fact some of that fear has always been of sharing on my blog, as Ive expressed before. But as I cracked open a new book, (Addictions: a banquet in the grave by: Edward T. Welch) , I stumbled upon these encouraging lines:

Our familiarity with the descent ( referring to idolatry, addiction, sin) should not make us think that we have no business helping others. Quite the contrary. Having known something of voluntary slavery ourselves, we are more patient with those who are ensnared. We are also more eager to partner with them and lead them to Jesus Christ, the One who liberates then and carries us out of the pit.

So here I am again. Writing to share with you my hopes, fears, struggles, laughs, reads, etc.. Will I be consistent who knows. Will this be the last time you hear from me until next May? maybe. We shall see. I can only hope suspense has gripped you and you have felt my struggle as I've dipped in and out in the last two years. After all isn't this what community is for to inspire, to encourage, to be honest, and for believers to point towards something greater than ourselves. So if your out there or just stumbling across this blog stick around, come back every now and then, who knows you may find we have much in common.

As of late, I realized finding myself in these vast, wide open spaces seems a little daunting. I find myself saying to the Lord well what do we do now? It seems there are a hundred things that can be done and a million ways to do them regarding the Lord. Figuring out what He wants me to do for the day, if Im not careful, can actually start to look like one of those terrible combination math problems from 6th grade math glass. You know the ones - eleven students put their names on a slip of paper in a box. Three names are going to be taken out. How many different ways can the three names be chosen..... UGHHHH hate these. I dont really care how many ways just pick the names so we will know whos chosen and who isn't. Anyway the Lord has been more kind to me than Mrs. Dunning, my sixth grade teacher was regarding my inability to figure out those problems, I know she meant well.

So I have been laying my day out before the Lord and expecting he'll show me which combinations is best and I have so far found him to be a most excellent planner. He knows me well. For example, today I was perusing other lovely blogs that have caught my eye over the year and as always I began to get a little envious lol yes i know rediculous but don't try to tell me when you look at other peoples life and projects in photographs you aren't simultaneously both inspired and jealous. I have to remind myself that a blog is simply moments captured... not the entire picture of someone's life. So after reminding myself of that and putting away the bag of mini reeses and pretzels I was binging on while looking at everyone else's seemingly more creative life I found myself saying " Ok Lord there must be a reason Im drawn to these blogs and someway that I can use mine for your glory and to be creative. And well If I heard Him correctly I think he replied with song lyrics because these words from Gungor came to my mind.

You make beautiful things you make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things you make beautiful things out of us.

So there we have it. I love beautiful things because God made me too. I'm drawn to Him through them. And because I'm made in His image I make beautiful things too. So I will share more things that are lovely and that stir my affections for my maker. perhaps I will end up both less envious and less prone to eating entire bags of reeses mini cups while simultaneously encouraging or inspiring you. We shall see.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

FREEEEEDOM!!! (screamed in my best Braveheart voice)

In the gas station bathroom by the condom machineI heard the word of the LordHe said "Take off your shoes,this is holy ground tooyou know I came for the sick and the bored"Beneath the selling of beersAnd the welling up of tearsOut beyond the beam of the remote controlThere's a whispering voiceThat the humble ear hearsthat says "I am still waitingfor you to ask just to be made whole"
And the bush it was burning on the mountain topand though the leaves never blackened, the fire didn't stopThat's the way that it works in this old life of sinYou gotta let the fire burn you just to get clean within
I am so often deterred from my actual intentby distractions in a cellophane wrapAnd the cruel voice that taunts me when I open them upto find just one more box full of crapIt's where you're mocked while you abstainand then cursed when you give inIt's all a game that's impossible to beatBut there's a peaceful refrain God'll sing in your brainwhen you put the nails to your hands and your feet
And the smell of our sacrificesstill fills up my headThere's just a few left at the altar, Lordall the rest of them fledAnd we've cried and we've triedWe've sweat and we've bledBut we don't just need atonementWe need to be raised from the dead
When they took down the cross from that dark hillsideThe blood on their hands was the blood from his sideThat's the way that it works, That's the way it must be.You gotta let His blood stain you of you want to get freeIf you want to get freeDon't you want to get free?
Waterdeep lyrics

we are free in christ and we only have to ask to be made whole and he will make us that. the problem is we usually do not realize that we daily walk away from this freedom right back into voluntary slavery. Just like the Israelites when they were rescued by the Lord from Pharoah. They saw the red sea parted and their enemy defeated but only to cross into a vast, empty, scary, lonely, wilderness of desert. Can you imagine their thoughts as they stepped out of the Red sea onto dry land.... Im sure it was something like " What the H?" They cried to the God who had just delivered them, " we would rather be in Egypt!" They would have willingly gone back to Egypt into slavery where everything was at least predictable. A life filled with pain but familiar pain. Nothing was unknown they knew what each monotonous day had to hold in Egypt. But in the face of this desolate wildernesss there were so many unknowns. How will our needs be met they thought? Where will our meals come from?our water? our shelter?

We tend to think they were morons. We can see the bigger picture thousands of years later. We think " Duh you guys the Lord just obliterated your enemy with plagues, and then preceded to lead u out of Egypt by a pillar of fire and cloud of smoke. If that wasn't crazy enough he then parted the Red sea so you could cross and after closed it smashing the remainder of your enemy to death." "Of course, he will provide your basic necessities in the desert." That all seems so clear now. But the truth is we are the same.

I am the same. I try and trust God daily ... especially after he works a miracle for me, but its only a matter of time before he asks me to really trust him and to step out into the unknown with him, the vast wilderness. And generally I will find myself quietly tiptoeing back to the comfort and temporary pleasure of slavery. On my prideful days I will tell myself the entire way that I know what is best for me and on my pitiful days I will tell myself that slavery is what I deserve.I will even sometimes convince myself on that journey back to slavery that I'm so spontaneous. This will be just new enough and exciting, a change of scenery ( disregarding completely that its a cycle and that Ive been here hundreds of times and there is nothing new about it). I will then gladly slip the shackles back around my wrists, after all they're kinda cute ( I have decorated them to match my outfits) and comfortable after years of wear have conformed my wrists to fit them. But give a couple of days... reality sets in which is my slave masters intent. The cute shackles start to hurt and become heavy.. the newness of the surroundings wear off.. I realize I can't leave at will. And again I realize i do not know what's best for me... I am blind and I do need a savior and so I humble myself and cry out to my loving and patient God once again.

Friends, I continue to choose temporary pleasure most days over any consistent long term joy. I fail to trust God knows what's best just as the Israelites did. Anything can be slavery if you are seeking it over Christ. If it ever seems better than what he is asking you to endure you can be assured that's a lie. Turns out just as the Israelites, I do not know what is best for me. My creator does. So I will keep allowing Christ to remove my shackles, laying them back down at His feet, unpacking my pockets of all the things i think i'd like to take with me from slavery to the promise land just in case, and laying these false treasures at his feet (but not before throwing a fit about not being able to keep them), and I will keep making the long journey back from slavery because he will never leave me there. He is in relentless pursuit of me. He will keep shedding light into the darkness revealing the truth. He will come like a pillar of fire and destroy everything I think is better than him until only he is left. And in the end when I can see the entire picture I'm convinced I will be grateful. im trying to get free friends... I hope you are.

Monday, October 4, 2010

A little Tea and T

My sweet husband is amazing at slingin case you didn't know. here's his latest I'll be showcasing on my right forearm for LIFE!!!!!

right before I committed for life.....commitment makes me a little nervous

Finished with black shading and line work....he was bringin the pain

finished product..super swollen... bad lighting

TAAAA DAAA! ur jealous right? I love my teacups. 
Thanks T for your patience. You are such an incredible artist and husband. I'm so so lucky. I love you. Happy birthday!!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Adventures of Team Marriage

Marriage is a wonderful thing but it can also be boring and downright difficult. It can become monotonous paired with responsibilities like paying the bills and fixing the car etc... Sometimes you have to get a little silly to keep up the moral and stoke the fire. Tristan and I are always looking for new ways to do this and that is how "The Adventures of Team Marriage" was born. I don't remember exactly when we started affectionately referring to ourselves as team marriage but we have been doing it for quite sometime now and somewhere along the way we added a point system. So now anytime we do anything together whether  we're winning a game at couples night,  fixing the sink, making amends after a big fight, paying a bill, tag teaming chores,  or even something like helping each other find a missing sock we get excited and give each other a serious hive five or chest bump and give team marriage some amount of points (I've been stuck on 40pts for along time, I dont know why).  Cheesy? absolutely. helped our marriage? 80% boost in moral. This week I had to share because Team Marriage Rocked. Im pretty sure we accumulated  over 600 pts.

We went on a couples trip to float the river in New Braunfels. We had a blast! The only fights we had stemmed from a bed that was too small (double)  and a comforter made of silky material that wouldn't stay on the too small bed. Other than that we were on a roll. We had so much fun we decided to drive back to Denton at a leisurely pace and stop in Austin. We window shopped all day and allowed ourselves each a treat from one of my favorite thrift stores on S. Congress. I took Tristan to Uncommon Objects, my favorite antique store, for the first time. And we concluded the evening with a fabulous dinner at the Snack Bar. YUM! We took some fun pics to document our fabulous married time and I thought I would share. The Austin trip alone was probaly 200 points. The river trip was such a success it  had already accumulated 150 or so.

 team marriage = 350 pts

The remaining 50 points were added on the drive home. When Tristan got really tired and was in need of starbucks. I started using google maps to find the nearest one and it appeared that we had already passed the only one unknowingly....dang it. Frustration filled the air. But to team marriages suprise from a distance we saw the round sign shining like a beacon in the was wrong.. TEAM MARRIAGE prevailed. The car erupted with excitement! Hive fives all around and Tristan said he was buyin.....thats his favorite line (of course, I ignore that team marriage 
has a joint account ;) 

If you thought it couldn't get anymore rediculous, then think again. Because team marriage was on a roll and nothing could slow us down.The next day we got up and hit the dog park. We then headed directly to Lowe's to schedule tile installation in the master bathroom. Many of our fights have stemmed from the previous owners decision to place carpet in the bathroom. who does that? Our toilet has been broken for sometime and yes this is sick to admit but it has overflowed four times in the last two weeks onto the carpet......result: serious frustration! So after we signed the paperwork and shelled out the cash for the tile installation team marriage headed to plumbing. We got the toilet guts kit and Tristan took the picture of the box below. It was Tristan's idea to try and fix the toilet ourselves. I'll admit I was skeptical. Tristan earned us 30 pts automatically for his courage on this project. After two hours of me standing on the tub reading the directions while Tristan executed, with hands in the commode, Team Marriage anxiously awaits the first flush............Excitement erupts !!!!!! Team Marriage has won again! The toilet is in fabulous working condition and the consolation prize was ripping out that nasty carpet and throwing it in the trash! We completed all of this and still made it to recovery at church by 6:30pm to greet. And then if that wasn't enough we had 30 peeps over for a giant firepit party after in celebration :)

Team Marriage: 600 pts