FREEEEEDOM!!! (screamed in my best Braveheart voice)

In the gas station bathroom by the condom machineI heard the word of the LordHe said "Take off your shoes,this is holy ground tooyou know I came for the sick and the bored"Beneath the selling of beersAnd the welling up of tearsOut beyond the beam of the remote controlThere's a whispering voiceThat the humble ear hearsthat says "I am still waitingfor you to ask just to be made whole"
And the bush it was burning on the mountain topand though the leaves never blackened, the fire didn't stopThat's the way that it works in this old life of sinYou gotta let the fire burn you just to get clean within
I am so often deterred from my actual intentby distractions in a cellophane wrapAnd the cruel voice that taunts me when I open them upto find just one more box full of crapIt's where you're mocked while you abstainand then cursed when you give inIt's all a game that's impossible to beatBut there's a peaceful refrain God'll sing in your brainwhen you put the nails to your hands and your feet
And the smell of our sacrificesstill fills up my headThere's just a few left at the altar, Lordall the rest of them fledAnd we've cried and we've triedWe've sweat and we've bledBut we don't just need atonementWe need to be raised from the dead
When they took down the cross from that dark hillsideThe blood on their hands was the blood from his sideThat's the way that it works, That's the way it must be.You gotta let His blood stain you of you want to get freeIf you want to get freeDon't you want to get free?
Waterdeep lyrics

we are free in christ and we only have to ask to be made whole and he will make us that. the problem is we usually do not realize that we daily walk away from this freedom right back into voluntary slavery. Just like the Israelites when they were rescued by the Lord from Pharoah. They saw the red sea parted and their enemy defeated but only to cross into a vast, empty, scary, lonely, wilderness of desert. Can you imagine their thoughts as they stepped out of the Red sea onto dry land.... Im sure it was something like " What the H?" They cried to the God who had just delivered them, " we would rather be in Egypt!" They would have willingly gone back to Egypt into slavery where everything was at least predictable. A life filled with pain but familiar pain. Nothing was unknown they knew what each monotonous day had to hold in Egypt. But in the face of this desolate wildernesss there were so many unknowns. How will our needs be met they thought? Where will our meals come from?our water? our shelter?


We tend to think they were morons. We can see the bigger picture thousands of years later. We think " Duh you guys the Lord just obliterated your enemy with plagues, and then preceded to lead u out of Egypt by a pillar of fire and cloud of smoke. If that wasn't crazy enough he then parted the Red sea so you could cross and after closed it smashing the remainder of your enemy to death." "Of course, he will provide your basic necessities in the desert." That all seems so clear now. But the truth is we are the same.

I am the same. I try and trust God daily ... especially after he works a miracle for me, but its only a matter of time before he asks me to really trust him and to step out into the unknown with him, the vast wilderness. And generally I will find myself quietly tiptoeing back to the comfort and temporary pleasure of slavery. On my prideful days I will tell myself the entire way that I know what is best for me and on my pitiful days I will tell myself that slavery is what I deserve.I will even sometimes convince myself on that journey back to slavery that I'm so spontaneous. This will be just new enough and exciting, a change of scenery ( disregarding completely that its a cycle and that Ive been here hundreds of times and there is nothing new about it). I will then gladly slip the shackles back around my wrists, after all they're kinda cute ( I have decorated them to match my outfits) and comfortable after years of wear have conformed my wrists to fit them. But give a couple of days... reality sets in which is my slave masters intent. The cute shackles start to hurt and become heavy.. the newness of the surroundings wear off.. I realize I can't leave at will. And again I realize i do not know what's best for me... I am blind and I do need a savior and so I humble myself and cry out to my loving and patient God once again.

Friends, I continue to choose temporary pleasure most days over any consistent long term joy. I fail to trust God knows what's best just as the Israelites did. Anything can be slavery if you are seeking it over Christ. If it ever seems better than what he is asking you to endure you can be assured that's a lie. Turns out just as the Israelites, I do not know what is best for me. My creator does. So I will keep allowing Christ to remove my shackles, laying them back down at His feet, unpacking my pockets of all the things i think i'd like to take with me from slavery to the promise land just in case, and laying these false treasures at his feet (but not before throwing a fit about not being able to keep them), and I will keep making the long journey back from slavery because he will never leave me there. He is in relentless pursuit of me. He will keep shedding light into the darkness revealing the truth. He will come like a pillar of fire and destroy everything I think is better than him until only he is left. And in the end when I can see the entire picture I'm convinced I will be grateful. im trying to get free friends... I hope you are.
Love,
BB